Rashi at the begining of the פרשה famously notes
וישכב במקום ההוא- אבל יד שנים ששימש בבית עבר לא שכב
For 14 years יעקב אבינו learned at the Yeshiva of שם ועבר, during which he toiled so strongly in his learning that he didn’t lay down to sleep at all. Rav Yaakov Kaminetzky asks: How was Yaakov allowed to disregard the command of his parents who explicitly instructed him to travel to חרן, and put that command on hold for 14 years? If a parent sends their son to the store to purchase items for the home, the son should not stop on his way at the בית מדרש to learn, as this would be a violation of כבוד אב ואם. why thenYaakov take this long break from fulfilling his parent’s wishes?
To answer this question we need to 1st ask a different question. Yaakov was 63 years old when he left his father’s home. He had spent his entire life learning by his father, יצחק אבינו. What more learning was there for him to gain at the ישיבה of שם ועבר that he hadn’t already learned until now? Explains Rav Yaakov; Yaakov, for the 1st time in his life would be leaving the confines of the בית מדרש and entering the outside world with all its נסיונות. The תורה he had absorbed in his father’s home, יצחק, was beneficial for his time in the בית מדרש. However, it did not prepare him for living in the גלות far away from his father’s home, in the home of לבן הארמי. To prepare for that, he needed to travel to שם .ועבר שם lived through the דור המבול and עבר lived through the דור הפלגה. They both had 1st hand exposure to living among רשעים and they both remained great צדיקים despite their environment. It was this תורה that יעקב needed to learn now, before he would enter the house of לבן the great רשע.
שם ועבר
We can now understand why Yaakov stopped to learn for 14 years in spite of Yitzchaks instructions to go to חרן. This can be compared to a father who sends his son out to purchase ארבע מינים. Not being sure of the of the relevant הלכות, the son stops in Shul to learn them. This type of learning is not violating his father’s instructions. Rather, it’s a necessary step needed in order to fulfill his instructions. So too, in order to fulfill his instructions to go to גלות to Lavans house, Yaakov needed to 1st fortify himself with the unique תורה of the גלות. And he did so by learning at the בית מדרש of שם ועבר.
מעשה אבות סימן לבנים
In our own life, living in גלות among the nations of the world, we too should strive to remain strong in our own commitment to תורה and live a life of קידוש השם.
We’ll conclude with a story that highlights this point. Famous criminal defence attorney Ben Braffman was hired to defend a famous-non Jewish- rapper, who was facing serious gun charges. Mr. Braffman gave the rapper his home phone number and noted that he’s available to answer his calls 24 hours a day. On Shabbos, however, he never answers the phone. This, he explained, is a firm commitment, and no money in the world will make him answer the phone. On a Friday night several weeks later, the phone rang in the Braffman home. And it continued to ring dozens of times throughout the night. Knowing that his family was safe and there was no פיקוח נפש, Mr. Braffman did not answer. It was only after שבת that he found out the full story. The rapper had made a bet with a friend that his attorney won’t answer the phone despite it ringing constantly through the night, with the friend not believing such a thing is possible. Sure enough, the rapper won the bet. Happily, he told attorney Braffman: “Thanks to your strong convictions, I made $20,000!”
Have a Good Shabbos
Weekly Parsha Shiur 