Parshas נשא-The Key to תשובה

Parshas נשא details the מצוה of וידוי, confession, for an עבירה that one committed. This is one of the components required for doing תשובה, alongside חרטה and קבלה לעתיד. The רמב”ם quotes  from the Parsha when describing the תשובה process, כל מצוות שבתורה אם עבר אדם אחת

מהן …כשיעשה תשובה וישוב מחטאו חייב להתוודות…שנאמר והתוודו את חטאתם אשר עשו

When one violates an איסור in the תורה, when he does תשובה, he should say וידוי, as noted in the Parsha,

והתוודו את חטאתם אשר עשו

The רמב”ם does not say that there’s a מצוה to do תשובה. Rather, he states that WHEN one decides to do תשובה, he must first say וידוי. Why is תשובה presented in this way?

Harav Aaron Lopianski שליט”א explains, that every Jew already has an obligation to fulfill all the מצוות in the תורה. If he violated any of the מצוות, it’s up to him to recommit to not repeating that violation, as that is his obligation as a Yid. So the essence of תשובה is actually not a חידוש, as we already know that we have to keep the whole תורה. Instead, the רמב”ם is telling us how we can achieve that recommitment to the תורה. This is done through וידוי. When confronting ourselves and recognizing through our confession that which we did wrong, we are begining the process of recommitment, through acknowledging our mistakes. And then, we can complete our תשובה by following the remaining steps of חרטה and קבלה לעתיד.

In psychology, there is a term known as cognitive disonnence, or the “ostrich effect.” Simply put, it’s difficult for us humans to confront our mistakes, so instead, our nature is to pretend that all is well. A classic example of cognitive disonnence is smoking. The great dangers of smoking are common knowledge. Yet, the tobacco industry continues to earn tens of billions of dollars in profits each year, with many millions of Americans consuming their harmful products. How can someone take a cigarette to their mouth, with the full knowledge that this will shorten their life? Cognitive disonnence tells them that they need not worry. “Just keep on smoking, you’ll be OK. It won’t happen to you.” This trait is ingrained in all humans and requires great effort to overcome, whether in this example of smoking or many other similiar, physical or spiritual destructive behaviors people tend to engage in.

Rav Yisrael Salanter famously said,” It’s easier to complete all of Shas than to change even one מידה.” Change is very difficult, as it goes against the innate human tendency to just continue doing that which we’re used to doing.

We can now understand why וידוי is the first step required in תשובה. As long as our shortcomings in שמירת התורה are not acknowledged, there is little chance for change and sincere תשובה, as cognitive disonnence will convince us that all is well. Only when we openly acknowledge that which we did wrong will the reality of our actions no longer be ignored, and the תשובה process can start. And the more aware we are of our actions, the easier the process of change can be, as we work to challenge the “ostrich effect.”

We’ll conclude with a story that highlights this point. Uri Zohar was the biggest celebrity in Israeli history. His successful career of being a comedian, actor, and film director was at its peak in 1975. And it was at that point, one evening when he attended a Simcha of a friend,who had since become a בעל תשובה. Upon entering the hall, Uri found himself sitting next to Rav Yitzchak Shlomo Zilberman, a brilliant תלמיד חכם and intellectual. Rav Zilberman challenged Uri, ” What would you do if I proved to you that G-d is real, and that He gave us the תורה?” While he was an avid secularist, Uri Zohar did not suffer from ostrich syndrome, and so after giving it some thought, he responded, ” If you can indeed prove that, than I will be חוזר בתשובה.” The pair proceeded to converse that entire evening, and subsequently met many times.

The rest is history, as Rav Uri Zohar would go on to become a great תלמיד חכם and צדיק, who would ultimately bring thousands upon thousands back to Yiddishkeit. Indeed, being truthful with ourselves, can be the greatest tool to change.